I’m writing this blog today in a very pensive mood with a heavy heart and the reason I decided to write despite my feelings is two-fold:
- Writing makes me feel better and
- I want you to understand the importance of living a fulfilled life even when the odds are against you
Let me give you a bit of a background about me in general and why I’m feeling low today.
I’m normally a very happy, content and positive person. I’m conscious of how lucky I am and I am eternally grateful for it. I take steps to show my gratitude to the Universe by way of my attitude towards my life and the people in it. I generally reach out to people who I feel are not in a good place in their life and I try to make them feel better by way of my words or actions.
In no way am I being boastful here but just showing you my ways of running my life.
But in the last few days, despite my good fortune and despite the fact that I have everything a girl could ask for, I’ve been feeling sad, low and even fearful.
Fearful of the fact that maybe I’m too lucky and something bad is waiting around the corner to “boo” me when I reach there and scare the living daylights out of me, shattering my life.
These are my innermost fears creeping out of that tiny hole somewhere deep inside.
Does this happen to you too?
Last week two people I know (one very closely) met with some real misfortune. And when I say misfortune, I mean of the really sad, terrible kind. I do not want to elaborate on it on account of privacy, so we’ll leave it at that but strangely their situations affected me deeply and brought to surface certain fears in me that were well hidden all this time.
They have made me question myself that am I really as strong as I believe I am or will I crumble in the face of adversity or tragedy?
And then I remind myself of my years of struggle and misery and how I managed to come out of it a stronger, capable and better person. How those experiences only made me value my life more.
I remember talking to myself on days that were tough and reminding myself of my favourite line, which was, “life is too short to waste even a single day being anything but happy” and I would instantly feel better.
So don’t be sad and don’t complain. You are alive and kicking and that’s a blessing.
I know you are strong and you are constantly battling your inner demons while trying to live a happy life. But those pesky devils do creep out once in a while and then how do you deal with it? How do you calm your nerves and remind yourself that everything will be ok?
I have realised that it’s ok to feel sad, fearful and not so happy sometimes. I have learnt to give myself permission to just be as I am with all my imperfections and inadequacies.
The important part in this is my realisation that in my core I’m happy and content and when life throws a curve ball at me and sometimes I miss it and hurt myself in the bargain, I will deal with it like I always have because I have faith in my capabilities and I know I will go back to being my cheerful self.
But if today I don’t feel like smiling, it’s ok. I don’t have to worry about being judged. I am giving myself permission to go through the process of healing and coming back out stronger.
So let me ask you this, do you give yourself the permission to just be whatever emotion it is that you are feeling or are you very hard on yourself?
Think about it and also remind yourself that, life is too short to waste even a single day being anything but happy!