Often, when someone hears the word “assertiveness” they think of “aggressiveness”. They instantly connect it with being mean, pushy or bossy. While some people are that way, that is actually not assertiveness. Being “Assertive” is not the same as being ” Aggressive”. Assertiveness is a way to get your needs met without offending others. It is so powerful, yet no one is hurt. That does not mean that people will not at first reject your new-found assertiveness. However, if they do, they will eventually respect you, because real assertiveness involves both respect for yourself and the other person. In fact, assertiveness is about asking for what you want and expressing yourself in a manner that respects others.
The Dictionary defines it as “having or showing a confident and forceful personality”. It’s a communication skill that can reduce conflict, build your self- confidence and improve relationships.
So now tell me, are you keen to be assertive and stand up for yourself?
Let me share with you 8 benefits of standing up for yourself:
- Builds confidence
Standing up for yourself and being assertive is closely linked to being confident enough that you have the ability to let others know what you need from them. It is ok if someone doesn’t like what you say as long as you are confident you are saying the right thing while being respectful.
- Makes you more comfortable around your own peeps
It also implies your belief that expressing your feelings to others is safe (we all need to feel comfortable to confide in another). When we are in the company of people we like and who like us back, it’s easier to speak your mind and it makes you feel more comfortable to speak your mind.
- Boosts your self-esteem
If your self-regard is deficient, you won’t be able to or be prepared to assert yourself for you will think you don’t deserve it. At a much deeper level, it’s about fundamentally altering the way you view yourself in the world. It will help you feel more confident and also give your self-esteem a boost.
- Frees up your time and mind
When you learn to successfully stand up for yourself you start experiencing freedom of time and the mind. All those times you said yes or remained silent, when in actuality you wanted to say no and then wasted so much time berating yourself and questioning yourself as to why you did that will be saved. Voicing your emotions, you free up your time and mind.
- Helps in creating higher self -worth
Standing up for yourself shows that your self worth is high. And even if you haven’t yet been able to be assertive, once you start, you will feel more confident and that will help you feel more important and lead to higher self-worth.
- Builds respect for yourself
Candidly letting others know what you need and desire or how you feel demonstrates personal dignity, self-confidence and respect for yourself.
In effect, it’s like saying, “I matter, I need you to take my point of view and feelings into account”. If you don’t assert yourself, you can end up feeling frustrated, misunderstood and unfulfilled
- Builds respect for others
Learning to calmly stand up for yourself can be immensely gratifying, hence improving your self esteem and making those you love feel respected and heard as well.
- Your needs are met with lesser conflict
When you learn to communicate your point of view with assertive language, you’re also more likely to get your needs met with my lesser conflict. People will begin to respect you and what you say more because they will realize that will not take things lying down, especially when what you are saying is true and factual.