We are living in a very strange time. Forget expectations, we never knew such a time existed. You and I and everyone else has literally been socked in the face and now we’re reeling from the shock. Please go easy on yourself. If you are not able to perform like normal, IT IS OK. You are doing your best in every role you play and if it’s seeming hard it’s because it is very hard right now. Allow yourself to go slow and easy. Give yourself permission to take all the time you need to adjust to this new scenario. Trust me you need it. So please go easy on yourself.
Children don’t know the impact of what is happening and we should try and keep it to that. We should allow them to be children instead of constantly reminding them of how difficult the times are. That will involve a little more of screen time, of letting them do things you never allowed before. That’s how you are going to be able to stay sane and allow your children to be children and stay sane as well. Let’s be honest: Spare time is probably going to involve a lot more screens
These are exceptional times. Rules that you followed or thought have to be followed and done in a particular way, may not work at present. You need to accept that you have to be fluid and go with the flow right now. Infants and toddlers arguably require the most hands-on care and the most attention, but all age groups come with their own challenges for working parents. If you have teens or pre-teens, they may have just tasted freedom and suddenly they are stuck in the house with people they want to be far away from – their parents. Expecting them to be normal and just go with the flow is not fair. Let them be. Allow them to go through their emotions and deal with them. Be there when they need support but try to avoid getting too perturbed if they don’t want to talk to you or stay locked up . We’ve been there, we know how hard being a young adult is. If you dictate rules and force them to do stuff, they are going to move further away from you so let them be.
Their expectations have all crashed. They are dealing with a lot themselves too. So much of what is central to the teen experience is their social life.
Sounds odd but let your children do things they have never done before. Give them the freedom to be themselves. Even little ones are always bound by regulations. Exceptional times call for exceptional measure. Sometimes give them the freedom to choose play over work. We all have enough time in the day to do everthing we like. No one’s going anywhere. The kids might as well enjoy it even if the adults are hell bent on not.
Distance learning is a challenge for all age groups. “You’re not a teacher. Unless you already were planning to homeschool your kid, there’s no way to truly adapt to this. Most of our kids have home based learning other than the very little ones. However, no teacher or educator will reprimand a child or parent if the work is not up to mark or not finished in the given time. Everyone knows and understand the times and will definitely not mind if your child was having a bad day and did not feel like studying. Kids go through moods and emotions as well. Allow them to have their bad day and throw those tantrums. Don’t force them to study especially in these unprecedented times. They need that leeway as well.
Take the to-do list you have for the day and reduce it by maybe 25 percent. I know that’s going to be tough to do. You will need to set expectations correctly with first yourself, then your kids and family and your boss and co-workers. Managing all those expectations is not the easiest thing to do, especially managing expectations for yourself. You have always been a go-getter striving to have it all! You have been at the top of your game but with this lockdown and all that’s happening around you, you are struggling to keep it all afloat.
That’s where I come in. I have been doing this work for years. I left my job of a hotshot lawyer and built a business for myself where I get to have it all! Now I help other ambitious professionals just like you integrate your work and life so that you can have it all.
If you are ready to be supported in getting back your sanity, your ambition and your performance or simply just to have it all, I would love to help you.
Click here to book a free exploratory call with me.